As of this moment I should be in New York City, meeting up with a beautiful friend of mine who has been there for a few days now and is eagerly awaiting my arrival. I’ve run out of excuses at this stage. How do I tell her that I can’t get there because I just don’t have enough money; not only for my ticket but spending and all else.
I spiritedly agreed back in November to join her on this whirlwind adventure; I mean she literally had me at New York City and at the time I believed things would be more fruitful for myself but life in the fashion freelance world has not been at all generous to me.
I know what you’d say; just be honest but I somehow can’t. I suppose I’ve lived my entire life in this way, telling little white lies to ensconce the actual truth and I won’t lie now but I’m so tired of living in this way. In this instance I’m ashamed of where I am right now and I suppose she would understand but I don’t want to be honest. I don’t want her to know how I struggle financially. I like that she thinks life is rosy for me, that I’m chasing my dreams and slowly succeeding whilst living off my trust fund. Well, maybe not the trust fund part – I wish I had a trust fund.
What can I do? In a few more days her time in New York City will be coming to a close and then it’s onto the next stage of the journey. I feel like if I can hold out just a tad bit more it will be ok. But will it? Aside from really letting down a cherished friend of mine I also have to live with the fact that I’ve let slip another opportunity which undoubtedly would have gotten me that little bit closer to my goals and dreams.
P.S: Please feel free to direct me to a suitcase filled with money or the winning lottery numbers for tomorrow night.