sticky situations

As of this moment I should be in New York City, meeting up with a beautiful friend of mine who has been there for a few days now and is eagerly awaiting my arrival. I’ve run out of excuses at this stage. How do I tell her that I can’t get there because I just don’t have enough money; not only for my ticket but spending and all else.

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I spiritedly agreed back in November to join her on this whirlwind adventure; I mean she literally had me at New York City and at the time I believed things would be more fruitful for myself but life in the fashion freelance world has not been at all generous to me.

I know what you’d say; just be honest but I somehow can’t. I suppose I’ve lived my entire life in this way, telling little white lies to ensconce the actual truth and I won’t lie now but I’m so tired of living in this way. In this instance I’m ashamed of where I am right now and I suppose she would understand but I don’t want to be honest. I don’t want her to know how I struggle financially. I like that she thinks life is rosy for me, that I’m chasing my dreams and slowly succeeding whilst living off my trust fund. Well, maybe not the trust fund part – I wish I had a trust fund.

What can I do? In a few more days her time in New York City will be coming to a close and then it’s onto the next stage of the journey. I feel like if I can hold out just a tad bit more it will be ok. But will it? Aside from really letting down a cherished friend of mine I also have to live with the fact that I’ve let slip another opportunity which undoubtedly would have gotten me that little bit closer to my goals and dreams.

Love,

xxx

P.S: Please feel free to direct me to a suitcase filled with money or the winning lottery numbers for tomorrow night.

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