One thing that I’m struggling with is holding fast to my dreams, mainly because I’ve been holding on for far too long now. I could blame my past, circumstances and other people but I need to take responsibility. I’ve had such a wonderful array of opportunities presented to me that I haven’t yet been able to grab hold of. It’s incredibly frustrating, especially the many missed travel adventures; though in this case I will point the finger directly at my depleted savings accounts.
It’s like trying to catch the illusive prize at the end of the string that forever more seems to tug itself away from me just as I draw near enough to grasp it. An incredibly infuriating and endless game that I suppose I’ve manifest into reality with petty excuses and fear itself but I am ready for it to finally end so I can move onto the next game of cat and mouse. Though how I can grab hold of it is the million dollar question; through visualizing and keeping positive? It is the latter that seems to be my Achilles heel. Trying to remain upbeat and concentrated on the road ahead is a hard enough task without the self inflicted sabotage that plays out in my mind and surroundings. And allowing others to project their miseries and envy onto my own self worth is a dragon that needs immediate slaying.
Deep down I know that I am a beautiful and worthy person deserving of all my hearts desires, or at least I think I do, and at times it’s so hard to grasp that belief when there’s someone close to you howling contradictions. It does make me wonder why no one seems to see the beauty and potential that I feel and know in my heart. Another million dollar question.