To add to the whole ‘woe is me’ thing in my world of fashion styling I’ve been more than feeling the pressure of trying to ‘keep up with the Joneses’, and in doing so I’ve felt like I’ve lost my ‘mojo’ so to speak; creatively I’m just not that inspired and I can’t decipher if it’s my perception of lack or my urgency to travel and give into my wanderlust pangs. It sounds utterly foolish and completely narcissistic to be upset about such a frivolous matter when there is so much else wrong with the world but this constant yearning to be relevant and to a certain degree noticed by others in hopes of obtaining that lucrative job or project is the name of the game. It’s what I signed up for and I’m beginning to wonder why?
My fashion blog seems to generate more interest in other bloggers self promotion than the actual content, skimming through the photography and completely disregarding the words I’ve typed away; words which have been well thought out and shaped into a work of art, remaining unread and completely disrespected. Why am I slaving away at all hours trying to create exciting content when no one is even paying attention? Seriously why do I bother? Do I really want to be in this industry?
I’ve always loved fashion, it’s something you and I had in common. I loved it when you would come over and how easily I could show you my newest acquisition(s) and you, in turn would reveal in excitement with me. These days I have to hide what I’ve brought to avoid the breaking out of another household war. I even had to rent out a post office box to avoid such dramas. I really miss you and your peace making skills between mum and I; especially the latter. You always had my back and I know you’d know where my motivation has been hiding lately.