I needed some time out yesterday, to get away from everything surrounding me right now and though an impromptu road trip was unfortunately not in the cards I opted for spending time with some dear friends. It was just liberating to leave troubles at home and step away from it all to quieten my mind with silly chatter and lots of delicious cupcakes!
While work progresses onwards with your home so does what little sense of hope I have left. It seems most of my ideas are being scrapped for what I suppose they believe to be conveniences like the reconfiguration of rooms and color schemes. There was a comment made that really made me turn red whilst inside everything seemed to crumble and collapse within itself.
“It’s just a floor”
Why, yes it is genius. But it is your floor, it is your house and still is therefor we mustn’t just treat this like any other floor. I just find it so incredibly disrespectful and exasperating. I didn’t want anyone to sell this home to a stranger who didn’t understand it’s importance and the many joyful memories stirring in it’s walls yet I feel like that massive fear has manifested. Sure it remains in our family but it’s just being striped back hurriedly without a second thought. The whole point was to keep this wonderful place for everyone to enjoy yet to date seems to only cause heartache, especially for me. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep apologizing to you for what we are doing to your home.
I’m hopeful this lingering cloud of doom will pass so that I can be stronger in voicing my opinions – welcome or not – and persuading enough for them to be carried through. You were always there for me Maria, always; right up to your last days you would still defend me and I will do the same for you. I will try my hardest to protect and defend your sanctuary and I will do it for you.