the so called friends

When will so called friends come to accept what I now do for a living? Or perhaps I’m the one who needs to take the hint and let go of old friendships that no longer serve any purpose?

Some long standing friendships have been but to test the past few years and while most succumbed and unfortunately deteriorated one in particular still remains feebly in the wind. It’s been strained though for reasons unbeknown to me, tension is thick when we come together and on the rare occasion we do met up it’s a constant dance and tiptoe around each other. One thing that constantly comes up is my venture into full time blogging and this misconception that I virtually do nothing because I work from home!

This life is far from simple and incredibly trying. I do not work standard 9-5 hours in a cold office, I work from 7am until midnight at times and I work from my parents cold and uninspiring home, hustling nonstop to make a quid. I’m tired of being judged as a ‘free loader’ for this choice and though it’s never been mocked per say in front of me I just know it’s a subject of ridicule within my old inner circle of lost friends. The last time we spoke I mentioned that I made my first home shopping network purchase and I immediately thought of her as a few years back it became a humorous pastime of hers to which she responded how she wishes she could stay home and shop all day; not to forget the apology in tardiness of a reply as she was busy working. It really hurt as our prior brunch catchup a few weeks back I had let my guard down and confided in my struggles of the not so glamorous life I now lead. It had felt wonderful and as though I may have gotten my friend back though after the text it left me reeling and full of conspiracy.

Was this friendship real or something else? There was a time when I thought perhaps she remained in contact with me because she believed I had come into some money after your death as it was a subject often brought up. What do you think Maria? I know how you adored this girl as I did and she was the only one to come and see you in the hospital as well as attending your funeral, she had always been there for me until she got engaged and things changed ever so drastically. I wasn’t even invited to be a part of her bridal party – despite the fact I was due to travel to the USA, one would presume a ‘good’ friend would still be asked. So Maria, do I continue with this friendship whilst treading lightly or just let it go and make room for other new friendships with accepting and like-minded people?

Love,

xxx

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