making plans

I made some plans late yesterday, innocently and full of  hope as per usual until a comment sent me into a spin. I could have died then and there last night, just crawled into a dark crevice and remained hidden for all eternity; instead I opted for the fetal position, closed my eyes and prayed for sleep to carry me to another world far, far away.

I’ve been talking and planning with my cousin since the start of the year about his travel plans to Europe in August which will also be his first time stepping onto European soil. He had also invited me to join him and of course I want to come along. Though I am yet to confirm anything with him just yet and when he mentioned the words  “I can book tickets for Disneyland Paris,” it left me frighteningly reeling.

debe664b32a96f0e37bf7e7c341b9f86 It was the feeling of a terrifying deja-vu, another sojourn overseas planned and anticipated yet to fall through at the last minute leaving me severely upset and embarrassed and the other party disappointed in me yet again.

I’m so scared a repeat of past events will transpire again, though this time the party involved is family and unavoidable. This adventure will truly be once in a lifetime, not only beneficial for my soul and writing but also a wonderful opportunity to see a part of a continent in which my ancestors resided. It’s also a perfect bonding opportunity as life seems to have gotten in our way over the years.

I do not and can not miss out on not only another travel opportunity but this one opportunity. I am praying for lady luck to strike me very, very soon as time is slowly passing by hence the horrible reality check I faced last night. I’m still holding onto hope and kismet as at this stage it seems to be all I have but at the same time surly opportunities such as this can not just be dangled in front of me and cruelly taken away swiftly. I don’t believe the Universe is at all cruel like that, at least I hope not.

Love,

xxx

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