the inevitable

Unbelievably it’s the second week into August, no scrap that, we’re coming up to the start off the third week into August. How and why has time dissipated away so damn fast?

My cousin began his trip to Europe well over a week ago and this day today, the eighth of August marks exactly ten days until I was ‘set’ to depart and join him. Actually I wanted to arrive on the sixteenth to spend some extra quality time with family but writing the same arrival date that coincides with his own makes it slightly more manageable to breathe.

The now obvious reality struck me hard and fast a few days ago. It was the harsh realization that I won’t be joining him and that all hope is lost. It’s just seemingly impossible to keep up the farce now with time dwindling away. Even a miracle could not save me now with less than ten days to go and I know that a lot can occur within ten days, or even just one day, but regardless I’ve thrown in the towel.

His adventure concludes in late September and though I could still technically join him, it’s the leg of this trip that would have began for me that was important. It’s a trip to the Motherland where our family resides. A trip that would have been an adventure of a lifetime, the opportunity to fully see a country I had visited many a time my entire life yet never even remotely explored and honestly know hardly anything about. What’s worse is the knowledge that I’ll never get the chance to do this anytime soon with my cousin.

So here I am, in the same situation I found myself back in April, again crying a river over the blatantly obvious inevitable.

This is my life.



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