The bitter taste of yesterdays revelations are still incredibly hard to stomach. Having to physically cross out those hopeful pages in my planner I had enthusiastically marked in at the start of the year is another loss and another hard blow.
And aside from not only cancelling travel plans I also had to RSVP my condolences to an invite I received for New York Fashion week – my first ever invite to something as grand as this might I add which was also incredibly heartbreaking to do. The stiff push of each letter on my keyboard as I responded with sincere regret and apology felt like daggers piercing through me multiple times.
Then there is also the dreaded email I am yet to compose to my cousin, letting him know that unfortunately I won’t be meeting up with him next Sunday. I can’t bring myself to tell him this and I just can’t seem to articulate a worthy apology.
So here I am, feeling rather lost and caught in a stupefied, zombiefied state. Words seem to evade or have lost meaning. Appetite is yawning and all I seem to be able to do is curl up in a fetal position surrounded by a pity party of one.