burned

I’ve officially had enough.

No more pushing me around; using and abusing me. No more helping those who don’t appreciate and treat me no less than you would a gooey substance you accidentally stepped on.

You see, this weekend was just oh so exhausting. I was asked for some design advice so I tagged along. Ok, so it was design advice for your kitchen, bits and bobs as per usual and as always I agreed to lend a hand and offer my ‘expert’ advice. The first item on the list already had us biting off limbs and left me tearing out my hair. All over a simple, practical and very important detail they’d completely overlooked.

The measurements of a sink.

Yes a damn sink.

They’d gravitated to it instantaneously because it was priced right. I knew straight away looking at the packaged piece that it was way too large and would subtract away valuable and much needed bench top space. However trying to make this crucial point proved more than difficult since all they intended upon focusing to was the bargain dollar amount. Never mind that it was too bulky and that they don’t even know what the piece actually looked like; totally minor details right?! And of course that wasn’t the only incident however I did remove myself from the situation almost immediately after the sink fiasco, choosing to sulk around like an obnoxious adolescent whilst they battled away with each other.

But it did not end there.

Yes, unbelievably after we finally returned home, a mere half an hour later mum asked me if I wanted to come and help pick out a dishwasher. I said yes. Even though I knew, I knew what would happen and everything inside me screamed “hell no,” but I did. I agreed and joined along yet again like a bad smell and obviously another argument rapidly ensued.

Honestly I do not know why I keep putting myself in these kinds of situations. I must be some kind of masochistic because the same thing almost always occurs. A heated argument dramatically ensnares and I am left with a bruised ego, embarrassing myself and acting utterly juvenile. And I don’t even know why they bother asking me for my opinion when it just gets burned back down. I need to learn how to say no and start putting myself first. Only offering a hand to those who actually need it and have the decency to appreciate.

xxx

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