kitchen nightmares

Out with the old and in with the new.

Progress is being made as we speak. Your kitchen had been torn and ripped away long ago and now the preparations are being made for something shiny and brand new to come in and replace what was once there.

And with each step moving closer to this it’s another step back for me and moving farther away from what I had hoped would be.

It is also another step towards to my brother moving out and into your home. And I should be chipper for him and I guess to a certain extent I am because I know how miserable and how much he detests living here too, but at the same time I also selfishly wish it were me moving out. Especially with the prospect of moving into your home.

And of course with this kind of development my desire to reside in your home and carry on your legacy fades. I feel like I threw in that proverbial towel long ago too but a little hope remained and still stirred within. Now that hope seems to play dead and occasionally twitch.

But what can I say, this is something of incredible importance to me and it’s just something I can’t seem to let go of but the reality is this. This is not my home nor can I stake any claim to it, maybe even never.

So I feel like I need to move on and hope for the best. Hope that he’ll respect and love your house as you did; as we all did. Open it up to anyone and most importantly fill those walls with love and happiness.

Maybe even take pity on his struggling older sister and invite me to move in with him, or even just hang out every now and then.

But that sadly, is a long shot.

xxx

 

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