Trash day, or more appropriately hard rubbish collection day.
A day nonetheless that is looming close for what once littered your yard and become somewhat of a permanent fixture amongst the perishing greenery will no longer abide. Tearing away fond memories with little regard and quite possibly the one and only remaining anchor to you.
I’ve been staring at the humble remains of what once was for weeks now, though the days gone have felt more like months. I’ve watched with great sadness as the skeletons of your home were torn out and strewn worthlessly aside. Turning your once blooming yard into a desolate graveyard, filling it with a sombre bitterness and chilling greyness that served to destroy the thriving flora. All that was missing from the theatricals was a fine mist and hoot of owl.
I’ve eyed the fraying plywood pieces that were pushed aside then salvaged for use elsewhere. The old stainless steel sink left leaning against the brick wall then kicked aside onto the patchy emerald green grass, smothering the blades underneath into a feeble darkness. The antique oven and grill slowly pulled apart then scattered to opposite ends, dividing a once thriving and happy unit of friends with complete disregard.
All of it finding rest amongst mother nature herself.
I’ve observed it all from day one. A day that was filled entirely of excitement and hope then eventually transformed to despair and immense dread. Unsure and anxious of what is to come and what will inevitably be. Hoping for the very best but ultimately expecting the worst.
I don’t know why the impending removal of all this ‘junk’ has heartbroken me so. Perhaps standing by idly as the memories of you and the remains of my childhood are to be carted away to a distant field and left to rot into oblivion remind me of my own current state.
That feeling of being left behind and dumped, not truly belonging and awaiting removal.
It’s also a very real reminder of what is yet to come. The out with the old and in with the new. My brother moving in and me no longer welcome to traipse in it’s grounds.
The unrecoverable loss of a huge part of myself.