I think most creative types who choose the path of the non-conventional are aware of the venom that sweeps out of the mouths of others who are envious of their choices in life. Their constant need to remind you and overall mission to ‘ground’ you back to Earth herself. Their perception of what is right and dictating how you should live life which most times mimics their own. I’ve felt a little worse for wear of late and really felt my health plummet in a downward spiral this month.
The prognosis is this, a lackluster state of being, constantly tired during the day with fitful rest at night and then there’s those crippling headaches. My diagnosis is simple, I’m being poisoned with harmful words in an unhealthy environment.
It is no secret my stress levels of late have sky rocketed like no other. Tension in this household is at a critical point, so thick only a serrated knife can piece through it’s unstable form. We’ve all been butting heads over the stupidest of things and in doing so I’ve been met with hostile ultimatums. Ultimatums such as my apparent need of finding a full time, 9-5 job in the New Year and the controversial need to pay board.
I’d been suffering crippling headaches last week and it wasn’t until Sunday afternoon when I encountered this lovely quote from Dylan Moran that I realized why exactly my body was so intent on rebelling against me.
People will kill you over time and how they will kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like “be realistic.”
I feel like it couldn’t be any clearer than that. These past few weeks have definitely been torturous, feeling pressured to stop all that I’ve worked toward just to please others and it’s really taken it’s toll on me. I’m feeling that stress ravage my body, more so now from the pain of those headaches. Last night they stopped hurting and became much more heavy, almost like a blocked nose; clogged and loaded.
Their words are killing me softly, yet rather taking their hold on my ambitions and dreams they’ve latched onto the physical. So how can I continue on?
How can I keep working towards my goals whilst side-stepping around those who wish to see me fail?