I got a surprise email yesterday from a somewhat long lost friend of mine asking for my opinion, advice and help. The same friend I had previously written about a while back when I had questioned their motives in reaching out to me. The same friend you had adored and spoke so highly of when you were alive. Well yesterday she contacted me about a possible venture she was now looking into since she is about to go on maternity leave. Oh yes, did I not disclose this to you Maria? Girlfriend is totally pregnant. I only found out right before Christmas. She told me this over the phone since we had trouble scheduling time for a quick dinner catch-up which was supposed to be her big revel to me, 6 months later. I think she’s due at the end of February or something.
It’s funny that. We were such close friends in high school then became so inseparable in our early twenties, up until you started to get sick and I began to learn who my real friends were the hard way. Now I am just some distant acquaintance. No longer am I the first person to be contacted but now seemingly not important enough to be informed of HUGE life changes. Not important enough to be invited to birthday soirees or even invites to baby showers. I get ‘group’ text messaged.
Anyway, I am off point here, she is looking to ‘fill’ her maternity leave days in by starting a blog. Well more an online store for her event planning business but also a blog to help her gain momentum. Honestly I was thrilled to hear this. I’ll finally have a blogging buddy I can do lunch with and Instagram snaps with and collaborate with. But most importantly I’ll finally have someone who’ll understand how much bloody hard work this actually is. That it is not just you sit on the couch watching TV while eating potato chips and working one hour or so a day. That it’s more than a 9-5 job, it’s 24-7 non-stop madness!
We bounced ideas off each other all day, setting up a meeting date to discuss and all. She’d actually hire me to write her posts for her, she’d give me the ideas and points I’d just needed to put my wordsmith cap on and create a paragraph or so for her to post. I’d also help her maintain all social media aspects. So I’d be pretty much doing most of the work for her, now running and operating a third blog but I actually didn’t mind. I ended up spending the whole day visualizing this, seeing the two seated opposite each other, brainstorming away with our laptops on the dining table, A4 sheets of paper littering it’s surface with ideas and her new born son sleeping away on the couch beside us. And possibly a huge vase full of white peonies and a scented candle burning away somewhere in the corner. I thought up romantic and catchy new blog names for her and all, even drawing out logo designs and searching for blog themes.
And yeah I went completely overboard. But that’s what you do for a friend.
At least what I’d do for someone. Especially someone who has been a huge part of your life. Who has been there for you and I the same. Someone who you’d hope to get that kind of friendship back, back to how it once was like the days when I did a little stint of being her personal assistant. Being around each other every day of the week and never tiring of each others company. Constantly snacking on M&M’s and lunches at Nando’s. My gym buddy, the buddy who’d motivate me at the gym then tempt me with a McChicken burger on the ride back home.
Yes I want those days back so badly. And it looked like we could get back there again, at least in my head anyway, until I got an email this morning. She had cold feet or perhaps (what I feel to be more accurate) had been convinced by someone else that this idea was just stupid. Her note was short and sweet. Straight to the point. Arrow to the heart, piercing right through that bubble of sweet nostalgia and hope.
Wow I didn’t realize how much work goes into this, it’s like a full time job, I need to think about it.
That’s it. Or something along those lines anyway.
Thanks, but no thanks.