Every time I see my brother I am overcome with various colorful emotions, with envy definitely ranking higher amongst them all. It just seems that I can’t stop from dwelling on this jealousy; of what could have or should have been. More so on just how incredibly fortunate he really is to have his own place, let alone the (not so) meager fact that it was once your home.
A place (slightly) further away from this one were he can go and just be. Just do whatever he pleases without the scrutiny of unnecessary eyes.
Peace and sanctuary.
Over the weekend when he came around for the usual feed-bag he announced his disapproval of my father just turning up unannounced. In fact of both of them simply showing up whenever they felt like it. Wandering through ‘his’ property like no ones business. Watering your plants and tending to your once beloved garden while occasionally peeking through the windows for signs of life inside. Apparently this is not ok in his books. Hell even I can imagine how annoying that must be but honestly was it cause for disarm? I’m not so sure. I mean this kind of behavior is so utterly predictable of them and it is nothing out of the ordinary. Dad’s atrocious habit of gazing into windows with his tired and worn hands cuffed at his face may seem as quite the ‘peeping tom’ move, but for him very much unassuming and normal. He’s been doing it our entire lives; at home and work. Yes, even public places like vehicles. Recognizing one that may pertain to a colleague or friend and gazing inside shamelessly to prove himself right.
Funnily enough he doesn’t see the error of that habit nor why it is considered so taboo. It left him quite confused to say the least.
So my brother ended up laying down some rules. He told them off again and asked them to simply call him first if they wanted to come over. He didn’t care that they came around but just wanted a smidgen of notice prior since over the weekend he’d apparently been entertaining and his company happened to freak out slightly when dad just so happened to appear at the windows, hands cuffed to his grey eyes and looking in and not saying a word. Then he left and began wandering through the grounds, both front and back.
I know I should not laugh. But it is pretty funny.
How could he not have guessed this would transpire? When I sat there for months visualizing living in your home, they were always in the picture also. I knew from day one that they’d be unable to keep away from here. That they’d turn up unannounced and out of the blue whenever they felt like it since your house is a short ten minute stroll away from theirs.
I guess after hearing his qualms over the situation and perhaps him reaching his breaking point I also couldn’t help but ponder if I’d actually dodged a bullet in all this. Obviously a need for space between us is truly necessary, but it is still your home Maria and I feel like any minor inconveniences trumps that. To reside in your home is a real honor and a legacy that should be met also.
Then again not really getting away from the parents? Could I have actually came up with a legitimate reason for being denied your home from day one?
Is it possible I have found the Holy Grail in this bizarre turn of events?
Solved this riddle once and for all?
I guess the Universe does work in mysterious ways.