Did you ever get the feeling that someone is sponging off your identity? Unbeknownst to them or not. You know those times when you recant past events and stories only to rehear them again a few weeks later from that same persons lips? It’s like they’re claiming your life story as their own for some bizarre reason and it leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth and at times just makes you feel so blah. Then again, am I just being a tad paranoid. We live in a world were there’s three degrees of separation so we basically all experience the same things just perceived in different ways so you’re bound to come across times like these. More than once even. Plus most of us end up bonding over those war stories that mimic our own. So why have I began to feel so wrong with a certain individual?
Feeling like they’re stealing my essence?
And beginning to shun them out for it.
I guess it all began to unravel about a year ago when another friend happened to point out how this person likes to exaggerate the details, even going as far as creating situations and scenes that never actually happened. I didn’t particularly judge them since I’ve been known to do these very things my entire life also, but it did open my eyes to certain things that were said, both in the now and in the past that started making me question the credibility of everything that came gushing out of that mouth. During discussions I’d note and pick apart their words like a young and eager Sherlock Holmes, intent on separating the real from the fake and uncovering the not so shady truths. Those words began to badger me to no end, especially when my own words came into play. Hearing my stories pass through those lips produced an annoyance like no other. I felt like I was falling prey to a psychic vampire, all that made me who I was feeding them and making them so much stronger. Having a part of me stolen and watching them shamelessly flaunting it around on their shoulders like a vintage mink shawl, twirling and entertaining those who’d stop to watch and gaining the applause I guess I had so craved. Like when I went through a period of having an ex harassing me with pointless texts then spontaneously declaring his love for me (a love never declared in all our four years together). I showed them those texts only to rehear them a few weeks later from those very lips about an ex of theirs, also spontaneously declaring their undying love for them.
It made me a little uneasy, maybe even mad.
I do not lead the most colorful nor glamorous of lives so why someone would feel the need to potentially forge my dull existence? To be my clone? But most importantly I just want this feeling to fade away already; banish it to the ends of the earth. I hate to think of this person in such a frivolous way since they truly mean the world to me. They have stood by me right at my darkest days when others turned away. I want to stop thinking of them as trying to imitate my existence and feeling like it’s a competition between us both. I mean who cares if they brought the same wayfarer glasses I did or just so happened to announce that they’re looking at property in a certain suburb I have been pinning for for years.
They say imitation is the highest form of flattery but who are we really kidding here? Why does it not feel so? Feeling like I need to protect myself with a lock and key, watching what I now say in case it becomes the focal point for a discussion over the dinner table at our next soiree is no way to live nor is it a way to treat such a special friend.