dancing with my eyes closed

It is no secret that I am a reality television loving hoe. Unashamedly so at that. Especially those tales of the rich and “fabulous”, the jet-setting kind with apparent bottomless pits of money and walk-in-robes that resemble that of a department store wing. Yes all that stuff I consider to be “great” in my eyes. I’ve dabbled and dared to dream of my own show, or to star in one myself. Catapulting me to a super-stardom much greater than that of the Kardashians themselves. Though my cameo would bring much more to the table, not just looking pretty and wearing labels but adding some intellect. At least I’d like to assume so anyway.

Overall I am a total sucker for the Housewives franchise. And I have a real soft spot for the Atlanta ones at that.

Last nights episode left me horribly sad. One of the housewives, Miss Gone With The Wind herself, Kenya Moore lost her darling puppy Velvet. Now this girl has never been a favorite of mine on this show but man it broke my heart to watch her break down during scenes of her sharing and recanting her time with such an important companion. Her words that only fellow canine lovers would ever truly have a real understanding of and be able to truly empathize with the situation pierced through me and rattled a troublesome cage I carry within. A cage that houses fears of this very nature; the loss of my own sidekick.

Like Velvet and her good self, my sidekick and I have been together over seven years now and this coming June will mark the eighth. And what a gorgeous few years it’s been. My little love has been my BFF and at times my only friend. But she is more than that even. She is my family. My rock. My constant and quite literally my whole world. She is the only being who knows all my sick, sad secrets and who I will sing in front of, read my stories aloud and share in my dreams fully. Sure we annoy each other at times but we get over it quick smart, even that one time she did something truly horrendous, I forgave and forgot. She is such an integral part of my life that I can not imagine ever parting ways, which is what made this episode so despairing. Despairing for the thoughts I’ve been plagued with now. Thoughts of a loss too distressing to even speak of aloud. Her pain was so raw and real that I couldn’t help but share in and cry hysterically along with her while turning to my sidekick and holding on for dear life.

Oh how many times have I begged her never to never leave my side!

I can’t and could never, ever imagine losing my sidekick. She is the glue that ultimately holds my pieces together. And for the past 2 years my sole reason for getting up in the morning and pushing forth with my dreams. For it’s these dreams of a better future for me to give to her that motivates me. If something did happen (God forbid, *knock on wood*) I wouldn’t last twenty-four hours without her so I have no idea how Miss Moore plans to move on. Or how she has since this show was tapped a few months ago or something. It is such a tragic and awful loss and definitely not something you’d wish upon to even your worst enemy.

Love,

xxx

joshbillings

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One thought on “dancing with my eyes closed

  1. I have never seen this show but I rarely watch TV these days… I have so little time 🙂 I think it is true though that a dog loves us always… Have a great rest of the week… two more days and the weekend will be here… hopefully with more Spring 🙂

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