I had the most sensational day yesterday.
And I mean really phenomenal.
I spent it away with my old and somewhat lost buddy Liz. She recently give birth to a little boy, about six weeks ago now to be exact, and I kind of invited myself over to see her and her new little man a week or so back. What I wasn’t anticipating exactly was just how nervous I’d be the days prior to the visit. And I guess this nervousness stemmed from the notion that my once cherished and now estranged friend may have changed considerably during the shiny new stages of motherhood. That the girl I’d be seeing would be someone entirely different to the girl I grew up with.
I almost expected her to be one of those “mummies”. The kind that is judgemental of single gals and who suddenly see the world in a different light, a light that makes them far superior to everyone else. A know-it-all of sorts. I might be stereotyping here, being pretty judgemental myself and just being overtly dramatic as per usual Maria. Or it could even be my own fears projected. But either way I was terrified I’d lost her for good.
I also wasn’t just meeting the newest addition to their family, I was also about to be introduced to the new home they purchased late last year. So when I turned up at the address provided it took me a while to catch my breath and summon up the nerves to step out of my Honda. The street itself was nice, it wasn’t millionaires mile but a quaint tree-lined cul-de-sac. The itself court felt like it was nestled in amongst the woods, like a country town or something, even though we were nowhere near the country itself the trees behind in the distance seemed to soar upwards for miles. The houses were your typical 1970’s brick homes, though none of them had front fences separating the world from their spaces, it was all open, lush and green. American like in its setting. Which, I obviously immediately fell smitten with. I walked up the drive to their porch and stopped beside the black wrought iron table and chair setting. Do I knock on the frosted glass beside the door? Or should I telephone her instead? You know, in case the baby was sleeping. Then again to call her wouldn’t be the smartest of moves either, right? iMessage?
I was so unprepared! I mean what does one do in this situation?
What is the etiquette on such things?
My nerves picked up all over again. Change. Already things were different and I hadn’t even crossed the threshold, let alone seen her and met the little man himself!
I decided to send her a text message but shortly after just decided to knock anyway. She answered almost immediately, little man dressed in blue secured firmly in her arms. I stepped inside to the most wonderful home I’ve even been in. It wasn’t adorned in hipster reclaimed wood, the kitchen wasn’t decked out with grey veined marble nor were the furnishings imported from Italy. It was quaint and charming but most importantly it was utterly perfect for them and for the newest addition to their family. It was drenched in natural sunlight and teaming with room and space. Such a difference compared to their previous townhouse residence.
I have to admit my nerves didn’t particularly subside in our first few moments together. They lingered around like a bad smell. Even as I was genuinely praising her new abode and the utter cuteness of the little dude I still couldn’t shake it off. Funny thing was that she too was a little apprehensive in my presence. We both felt nervous around each other. It was only when she needed to feed the little guy that we slowly started to meld into our old ways. We sat on the couch while she feed him and just talked. And she was still the same! She hadn’t become overtly “motherly” and by that I meant the crazy mummy monster I had conjured up in my head. She was still very much Liz. And from there I was able to finally relax and do what I always seem to do when I am around her, drop down all walls.
We did the tour of the house, she even let me hold her son and Maria, me and babies are not a great mix. Especially when I have to hold them! I am the most gawky around babies and I genuinely have no idea on how to hold them. I always feel like I’m about to drop them, or that maybe I don’t position their heads properly and in doing so I’ll damage them somehow. Yet with her son it was almost natural. The first few seconds were frightful since he started to cry a little when in my arms, but he settled. And I was ok. He even managed to find a nook in my neck to rest his little head!
We went out for lunch to the nearest mall and it was like old times, with the addition of a pram, though it was still her. We talked about our families and problems, we even concluded that our fathers must be distantly related because they both ventured out to nurseries on the same weekend and came home with a car load of palm trees! Palm trees intended for their offspring. Her father brought them for her, even though she didn’t want them nor need any. And my father brought them for my brother who didn’t even realise they were planted in his backyard. And that’s the thing with her. We both have crazy families; crazy European families. And when we talk about them no further explanation is needed. It just makes sense in a sentence. And I think I miss that. Miss being able to fully disclose everything to someone and not have to really explain the how’s or why’s since they themselves grew up in a similar household and are still to this day experiencing it.
After lunch we went shopping and man, how I missed shopping with her! I always find such cool stuff with her by my side, and always bargains at that. I managed to score two new sweaters for winter, something I have had an unbelievable time of late acquiring, yet with her by my side, bam, there they are. It’s like those days when we would hit the mall and the sales racks. I’d find a gem at half price and take it to the counter only to find out it’s been reduced even more to like $1 or $2! She was my sartorial good luck charm and boy do I miss those days.
It’s funny with her, though I want to keep things hidden, not want to divulge too much of my doings because I fear that she’ll go back to the old gang and gossip about me, I can’t help but let it all hang loose. I just feel that comfortable around her. And I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again but I miss our friendship. We parted ways for reasons unknown to me though I think in me changing we became too different or something like that. Yet after yesterday I don’t believe that to be true. Sure we may be different, I am more what she’d call “hippie” and she a “yuppie” but we still mesh so well. It’s effortless and seamless and I don’t think a friendship like that should stay strained as it has. I really want to make an effort with her again, keep more in touch and sync like we used to. Hell, even call each other at any time of the day, but realistically that probably won’t happen. Maybe with time, though I am pretty impatient and kinda want it back now. I really miss having someone I can just call at any hour of the day for a simple chat. Even if it is brain-dead nonsense, I just want that one person in my favourites list that I know I can call for about anything and nothing.
And that one person is definitely her.