Still on the subject of the weekend I guess it’s weekends like the one past, those when reality hits hardest most, that make them quite blue.
My parents went to an event early Sunday morning and had decided to host an afternoon tea with their friends afterwards. And I for one, did not want to be present when these guests happened to arrive and slowly pack themselves into our home. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against them. I really don’t. In fact they’re the nicest bunch of people I’ve met in a while but lately it’s just that look of pity I see reflected in their eyes when they meet mine that is starting to make being around them all insufferable.
It’s those ‘aww you’re still living here with your parents’ looks that is just making me squirm uncomfortably. And maybe I’m just imagining these so-called looks but I’m not imagining those feelings I get when I am around them now. I feel so embarrassed whenever they happen to come over and find me there every single time. Like I don’t have a life or something, which I suppose in truth I don’t really anyway, but still I don’t need it broadcast to the entire world like that! I just get so self-conscious when they come around now, as if I should have a life of my own but here I am, hanging out with the golden oldies. So this time I knew I had to make an effort in not being in attendance.
I just wasn’t going to be there. Period.
I couldn’t be.
I started thinking up ideas, making plans and such for my short getaway. I thought of my friends, maybe just pop over for a moment or two, but I soon realised that they’d obviously all be busy. So I scraped that. Then there was just one more option. The park. So I decided to make use of it and hit the park with my little sidekick. Just kill a few hours here and there while I waited to safely return. And that’s exactly what I ended up doing. We left at eleven in the morning and made the long walk over to the park. I made sure to slow my pace since time was of no issue, yet annoyingly enough we managed to get there in record time. I ended up finding a secluded patch of grass between two lakes and sat down for a while, let my sidekick catch her breath and hoped that time would quickly pass us by while I fiddled around with my cell.
It’s funny because we went to the park behind your house Maria and while I was seated down all I kept thinking was how stupid it was that I was here. Your house was just on the other side of the road yet here I was, cowering. I should have been hanging with my brother at your house, not here. I mean in a perfect world I could have easily escaped this afternoon at yours. Just kicked back with some takeout and my brother and waited for those guests to leave in comfort. Maybe we would have watched a movie or just watched him play video games like back in the old days. But instead I was doing painfully slow laps here right behind your house. Sulking around on a patch of grass wanting to remain unnoticed, counting down the minutes that I could return home while chastising my pup as she insisted upon exploring the reeves by the water. And he was over there, unaware of my conundrum.
It was just a despairing sight and situation.