eyes that know me

We lost another family member over the weekend, hence my absence. Yet another soul retired and forever lost to me. It has become an unbearable and unthinkable thought to suddenly lose something that has become so dear to me; family. A blood that runs thick through our veins bounding us collectively, regardless of how limited we may dwell in their presence. It is an endless connection, unbroken for the duration that our human bodies permit us to remain here.

A constant and perpetual affiliation regardless of the good and bad.

Tio Manuel, a man I’ll never have the pleasure of knowing and understanding as I should have. And despite only encountering him twice in my lifetime, I am forever grateful our paths crossed, even if it was the briefest of moments. Though my memories wane, I am able to recall our final rendezvous. I know he wasn’t the reserved, perhaps distant man I perceived him to be during that fleeting moment. I recognised the ache and torment in his familiar eyes, depression perilously eroding and transmuting him into a silent shell. His sense of purpose eradicated the moment he lost the love of his life.

I know he was more than that man I met, though sadly I shall never truly know. What was he passionate about? And where exactly did his talents lie? But most importantly what made him laugh? And what wisdom could he have imparted upon me had our connection been stable? And though he may never have known my name nor recalled how I was his eldest brothers grandchild, I will forever enshrine him within my mind.

xxx

 

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3 thoughts on “eyes that know me

  1. Awe, I am so sorry for your loss… different losses have affected me in opposite ways. When my grandmother passed away and I found her, I was very despondent and sad. When my mom and dad past away, I barely cried, which was odd as I was super close with my mom and semi close to my dad. Then a very close friend of mine died suddenly over 10 years ago and I almost had a break down.

    I don’t think it matters how much you know about someone… it is more about how they affected you in your life. It’s nice that you have a few good memories… now you have them here to always reflect on.

    Twitter me if you want to talk… I think we all need that from time to time in the grieving process and get lots of rest 🙂

    1. Thank you Launna. I’m not sure exactly how I feel. I think I’m more upset over not having known him than his actual passing. It feels like another vicious cycle in my life. Making a promise to get to know a family member but having lost them to death before that promise can be fulfilled. Right now though I feel really uninspired and not as hopeful and positive about the direction of my life which is also bringing me down. I’ll be sure to send you a twitter message though. Thank you for your kindness L
      xxx

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