seduce and destroy

Why is it utterly uncomplicated to write and speak of the bad? Why are we as a species seemingly fixed into this “negative” default setting? At least I know I tend to be. And no matter how actively I try to flip that switch, which is a persistent struggle in itself, no matter how determined and diligent I remain, at the slightest signs of compliance, click, it powers back into negative mode and all hell breaks loose.

So why are we programmed this way? Is society to blame?

Nature vs nurture even?

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When it comes to personally deliberating my own precious junctures I find it impossible to smile because I have real difficulty locating them in the vault of my memory. And perhaps that has simply been my life; one of extreme complications with only a splash of lapsed wonder which has plunged into impassable, atramentous depths. Like oil and water they refuse to mingle but dance to a hostile grapple of capoeira. But we all know that oil wins in the end, refusing to sink beneath water.

And when it comes to writing, negative words seems to flow in an effortless poetic flood. The damnable is a seductive mistress who seizes your soul, rendering you powerless to unbind her siphoning tether.

Perhaps it’s because I have a deeper and complex connection to darkness; more understanding of its mechanics. Or perhaps because I genuinely lack in jubilant experiences and evade penning what I simply can not comprehend. But oh how I wish I could compose of such marvellous things. I’d love to create sunnier skies. Scrawl about the magic of sunsets, the wonder of Mother Nature and beauty mankind has constructed beside it. But I can’t cease to dwell on the bad. And humans as a whole seem to respond more to the negative, feeding the nightmare with stories of ghouls and goblins. We’re inundated with it. The media, Facebook our peers, we seem incapable of celebrating in prosperity, consistently choosing to wallow in fear and melancholy.

I wish the nefarious would depart my soul. Even take a slight vacation to the Bahamas or a month-long stay Paris. Perhaps the opulence of a limestone jungle will be enough to seduce it indefinitely. Finally leaving me be, allowing for some goodness to finally come my way for a change. And maybe, just maybe I’ll grasp the essence of happiness and with it be able to write and share it with the world.

xxx

 

 

 

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5 thoughts on “seduce and destroy

  1. Of course I was blown away as I always am… just think how many people you could reach if you were able to grasp the essence of happiness so that you could share it… your writing it honest and from the heart 🙂

  2. I love your layout!!!!!!!!!!!
    Between ages 14-20, I was drawn to all things dark. Really dark…it was so appealing and consuming that even what I thought I didn’t like I obviously liked because I didn’t rid of it. I don’t know what happened exactly, but I reverted back to my older state of optimism and all things light. Now there’s no room for darkness and I no longer feel weighted down.
    I think just the desire for change is enough to get the wheels moving. When a negative thought or perception enters my mind nowadays, I try to be aware of it and I tell myself that “I choose to see love instead of this” and I begin to shift into a better place. I get you! ❤

    1. Thank you Rebecca! I’m pretty happy with how these changes came out too. Thank you for your comment. Lately it’s just been a constant battle with it. It just seems no matter how optimistic I remain something slithers in and destroys it. I’m probably being lazy too. Not being braver or fighting as hard as I should. I love your recommendation to just keep reminding yourself. Just little notes when these seem bleak. I’ll take it on board.

  3. Some of it is genetic, some of it is chemical – but some of it is habit…

    If you make a habit of negative thinking, it becomes your default…

    But you can change that… You can make a habit of positive thinking as well… you need to exercise your happiness…

    So, today – just think of one thing that makes you feel good, and focus on it. Do that everyday this week…

    Then next week, try and think of two things each day…

    Focus on the good things – make it a habit – get out, go for walks – change your routine – it all works.

    Make it habit, make it happen:

    Oh – and watch this video – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZInbmOc2ymo

    1. You make some wonderful points. I do think it’s a negative pattern I need to break free of. I’m usually fairly good at distancing myself though lately in just being so overwhelmed I seem to cave into its needy pressures to soon. I will certainly take your advice and come back to this comment when I feel myself drowning. I’ll also check out that video too. Thank you for your kind and welcoming comment.

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