music monday: some nights

From where I stand at present, I have no future. The path I’ve tirelessly tread upon for years reached a dead end long ago now. The thing is I can easily see beyond the capacious crevasse that separates me from my hearts desires. And from my vantage point if I squint my eyes enough it looks magnificent. Then again, I always envisioned it would. So how can something that is essentially within reach be impossibly distant? And because of this vexatious chasm and my obvious lack of rope or tools I feel like I’ve nothing more but to surrender to the mercy of the Universe. I’ve outgrown my shoes and my feet have exploded out onto the unforgiving pavement, painfully busting through leather and fibrous seams. I’m tired, too tired. I’ve finally began to notice the cumbersome stress that is confined within my body and running amok. It’s weighty and painful at times.  I don’t know how I’ve managed for so long. And in light of this new recognition I’ve noted just how strained I am, and that my body can’t continue much further.

I can’t continue to linger.


8 thoughts on “music monday: some nights

  1. I know what it’s like but then there’s always a day that’s a little bit brighter than the last one. It’s easier said than done but always remember that there is a light at the end of the tunnel

  2. I have been here, feeling like there was no way out, sure that I had exhausted all the ways and none of them lead me out of the pain… but I kept believing somehow a light would show up at the end and it did as it always does.

    I know we have talked and I would love to talk more than through Twitter, whatever is comfortable with you, we are both on Google+, maybe there… I know I don’t know the whole story about how you have come to this point in your life … that is what intrigues me, maybe we could talk sometime.

    Oh… I too would absolutely love to meet you, I think we would have the best time, talking and laughing… time would get away from us 🙂

    1. Everything seems so impossible Launna. I cant see a way passed anything right now. Only a miracle will save my behind.

      BTW how about email as a form of communication or snail mail even? I’d love to be able to write more than 140 characters each time lol! Thank you for the constant support.


  3. This connected so amazingly well with an album I’m listening to. If you need something to listen to, check out “Repine” by Pianos Become the Teeth. It came on as I started reading your post, and it was amazing. I’m 99% sure that we’ve had completely different life experiences, but I feel I understand far too well being weighed down by all the shit. Life keeps throwing you punches, but you gotta stay in the ring right? Granted, that’s easier said than done.

    1. Urgh f*** that ring! But you’re right. You gotta keep picking yourself up after wach blow. Which is easier said than done. I’ve been TKO’d that many times now and I’m just so over this being stuck between a rock and a hard place. Thanks for the heads up on some new tunes. I’ll definitely check them out and feed my melancholy some more 😉

      1. Keep your head up as best as you can! I’ve dealt a lot with depression and the swings it has, some weeks being extremely being good and others, well, you know how the bad ones go. Recently, I feel like I’m back on the upswing, which is nice, but in the back of my head I keep waiting for the shit to hit the fan. But here’s hoping that won’t happen for some time, ha!

        As for the music, no problem. If you ever need more bummer music, just let me know, I got tons of it! (I’m not sure if that’s really brag worthy, but I also have upbeat music as well =P)

        Cheers and good luck!

      2. And you as well! As for the music, I’ll try and break it down some, so here we go!

        The melancholy awesomeness (because that is a word?) I’ll have these as albums unless otherwise noted:

        The Antlers-“Hospice”
        Pianos Become the Teeth-“Keep You”
        Athletics-“Why Aren’t I Home?”
        Balance and Composure-“Separation” & “The Things We Think We’re Missing”
        Into It. Over It.-“Intersections” (specifically the songs ‘No Amount of Sound” and “The Shaking of Leaves”)
        Jimmy Eat World-“Futures”
        Make Do and Mend-“Everything You Ever Loved”
        Seahaven-“Reverie Lagoon: Music For Escapism Only” (listen to the track “On The Floor”)
        Trespassers William-“Having”
        DayTrader-“Twelve Years”
        An Horse-“Rearrange Beds”

        For some more upbeat/just really good albums check outttt:
        Moving Mountains-Really anything by them, but their absolute best is the “Forward” EP, one of my all time favorite bands
        Driver Friendly-“Peaks & Valleys” EP (such a good album to drive around to on a sunny day)
        Anything by Frank Turner

        And finally, these two songs:
        “It Was August” by Speak Loud Advocate
        “Pearl Lakes” by U137

        Hopefully you’ll like some of these, the music is kind of all over the place, but there should be some that can suit your mood. Hope life is treating you well, and let me know what you think!

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