la vie boheme

I’m having a difficult time releasing the weekend. I desperately want to go back and relive those days in my own euphoric version of Groundhog Day. The appeal? Well, there wasn’t anything particularly remarkable about it; nothing otherworldly transpiring nor spectacular. They were just carefree and peaceful days. And for the first time, in a long time I felt completely liberated and at ease.

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image via pinterest

They weren’t days spent peering over my shoulder or watering down fleeting moments of paranoia. I wasn’t confined solely to my bedroom and enjoyed the freedom of roaming about. I did what I wanted and all without reason and sans explanation. I was living in a state of blissful serenity. So at peace that I hadn’t even noted it until Sunday night whilst I was getting dinner ready for one. That delicious calmness within my soul, how light I felt as I walked and how wide my smile truly was. I relished those feelings intensely.

It was a revelation which sadly brought me undone, filling me with dysphoria. Because this is what life is about, this is how life should be lived. This was what I truly wanted yet it all felt so unattainable, abstract and purely fictional.

Simple pleasures and freedom are what I crave most. Living independently, doing what I want under my own roof without question or judgement. To be completely independent and to have my own place. A space where I can be unashamedly me. Where I can work freely, laugh jovially and dance about like no one is watching because no one is watching.

Take me back please.

xxx

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One thought on “la vie boheme

  1. … I wanted to tell you something, I read a blog tonight that I have been following for a couple of years.. She had made a bucket list of things she wanted to do, one of them was to meet President Obama… She lives in Alabama and is in university. She had her Spring break this week and flew out to California to see some family… While she was there, she heard that Obama was giving a speech, she stood in line early in the morning and was able to get a spot that was standing near him… guess what? He came over and shook a few of their hands and she was one of them and her picture ended up in the university paper with her name stating how she was talking with him for a moment…

    Dreams come true… we just have to believe… she put it out in the universe and it happened… We both have to somehow believe it can happen for us too…

    Take care of yourself and message me whenever you like, thank you for always being there for me xox

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