beneath the sparrows where she sings

As yet another “delightful” year draws to a close the realisation that nothing is going to change is as formidable as ever.

Honestly I don’t know why I’m even holding on anymore.

A sense of legitimate dread that I will forever be compelled by my fears pursues me like a shadow. And the severe anxiety over the obvious notion that I am on my way to becoming a spinster who resides with her aging parents is palpable .

No dozen canines nor furry felines for company.

No space to call my own.

No liberation nor sense of security.

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via pinterest

Just myself and two capricious individuals, unintentionally intent on destroying what little self-esteem remains.

Living a life of below mediocrity.

One without dignity but teeming with discord.

Not actually living and yet hardly surviving.

I physically have nowhere to go but in my mind copious places to be. I can’t seem to locate that path or find my way in or out; regardless of how hard I pray.

xxx

 

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One thought on “beneath the sparrows where she sings

  1. I wish you lived closer… I’d help you find a way out… no one should demean you and no one should feel there is no hope. Although I am going through a lot, I am trying to hold on to hope it will change for the best, eventually… I hope things change for the best for you and that opportunities are opened to you soon xox

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