beneath the sparrows where she sings

As yet another “delightful” year draws to a close the realisation that nothing is going to change is as formidable as ever.

Honestly I don’t know why I’m even holding on anymore.

A sense of legitimate dread that I will forever be compelled by my fears pursues me like a shadow. And the severe anxiety over the obvious notion that I am on my way to becoming a spinster who resides with her aging parents is palpable .

No dozen canines nor furry felines for company.

No space to call my own.

No liberation nor sense of security.

via pinterest

Just myself and two capricious individuals, unintentionally intent on destroying what little self-esteem remains.

Living a life below mediocrity.

One without dignity but teeming with discord.

Not actually living and yet hardly surviving.

I physically have nowhere to go but in my mind copious places to be. I can’t seem to locate that path or find my way in or out; regardless of how hard I pray.




One thought on “beneath the sparrows where she sings

  1. I wish you lived closer… I’d help you find a way out… no one should demean you and no one should feel there is no hope. Although I am going through a lot, I am trying to hold on to hope it will change for the best, eventually… I hope things change for the best for you and that opportunities are opened to you soon xox

thoughts? secrets? leave them here

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s