I wish I could be the kind person who was genuinely elated for the good news of others.
The kind who truly felt delighted and profoundly jubilant over their milestone accomplishments. That I could simply comprehend and revel in such joyous occasions as opposed to the usual display of faux contentment; the farce that simply masks my actual contempt.
I wish I could be the kind of person who was simply supportive in those times of exultation. Who felt actual merriment over their triumphs. I wish I could just see the positive sin such situations and the possibilities and potential for myself too.
I wish I wasn’t quite so selfish and self-absorbed in my own melancholia; such a slave to my anxieties and panic.
Most of all I wish I wasn’t the kind of person who dreads such announcements for their victories simply remind me of life’s inadequacies. That such accomplishments didn’t act like a torturous noose; suffocating and savage, perpetually reminding.
An obnoxious emphasis of all that lacks and will always lack.