Internally I find myself in paradoxical foreign territory.
My mind hustles tirelessly with unexplainable expectation while my heart is simultaneously enveloped in a hazy fog of nothingness.
My mind incessantly forges with a blueprint for some kind of future; a most unconvincing tale it attempts to entice me with. Monopolising my time with materialistic impulse purchases. From shoes to clothing pieces. Even dabbling with a twelve month long rental on expensive photographic equipment.
Technically I have no business acquiring such things. Things which will remain dormant with only a wooden hanger for companionship. And a camera that will serve to only collect dust.
And then there is my heart which has essentially given up all hope. It spends its days awaiting the convenience of darkness like a devoted canine to his human. Imperturbably wallowing in the serenity of its now comforting embrace.
Frankly I don’t know which to side with or who to believe in. Is it the trickery of the mind or the familiar melancholic tones of my faithful heart?