because we seek

I follow behind my mother and cousin meekly as we tour through my grandfathers home. An expedition that should bring about inner enlightenment and euphoria, yet arouses intensely forceful pangs of envy. My inner grapplings with resentfulness and guilt, a contrast as stark as the dilapidated pastel walls surrounding me. As I listen inconspicuously to tales unintended […]

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bohemian soul, cosmopolitan existence 

I am enervated with feelings of under appreciation, invisibility and irrelevancy. That my mere existence is one of sheer inconvenience; one akin to cancer or a depraved parasite. Of feeling like there’s nothing for me here. That there never really was and that I am not worthy of much more. I’m tired of looking for reasons to hold on but […]

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laced with edge

Internally I find myself in paradoxical foreign territory. My mind hustles tirelessly with unexplainable expectation while my heart is simultaneously enveloped in a hazy fog of nothingness. My mind incessantly forges with a blueprint for some kind of future; a most unconvincing tale it attempts to entice me with. Monopolising my time with materialistic impulse purchases. From shoes […]

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rose clippings

I awoke today with a newfound sense of valor and persistence. A firm fervent hunger to simply succeed at any cost. This beautifully unadulterated determination that yes, indeed I can manifest and create such desires by tomorrows eve. And yet moments later that intense sense of resolve was obliterated from me simply by their lingering presence. Their malevolence unbeknown; innocently menacing. […]

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all the single ladies

I did the unthinkable yesterday. I mentioned to a mother of two that I was enervated. Simply opened up about how exhausted I’d been of late. How the need for an afternoon siesta was becoming increasingly burdensome and how I struggled to find balance juggling different roles. Of course what was I thinking? Speaking such truths to someone like […]

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dead on arrival

I wish I could be the kind person who was genuinely elated for the good news of others. The kind who truly felt delighted and profoundly jubilant over their milestone accomplishments. That I could simply comprehend and revel in such joyous occasions as opposed to the usual display of faux contentment; the farce that simply masks my actual contempt. I wish […]

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