because we seek

I follow behind my mother and cousin meekly as we tour through my grandfathers home. An expedition that should bring about inner enlightenment and euphoria, yet arouses intensely forceful pangs of envy. My inner grapplings with resentfulness and guilt, a contrast as stark as the dilapidated pastel walls surrounding me. As I listen inconspicuously to tales unintended […]

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bohemian soul, cosmopolitan existence 

I am enervated with feelings of under appreciation, invisibility and irrelevancy. That my mere existence is one of sheer inconvenience; one akin to cancer or a depraved parasite. Of feeling like there’s nothing for me here. That there never really was and that I am not worthy of much more. I’m tired of looking for reasons to hold on but […]

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dead on arrival

I wish I could be the kind person who was genuinely elated for the good news of others. The kind who truly felt delighted and profoundly jubilant over their milestone accomplishments. That I could simply comprehend and revel in such joyous occasions as opposed to the usual display of faux contentment; the farce that simply masks my actual contempt. I wish […]

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contemptress

My life is a tangled web of insolvency and despondency. A slave to melancholic tendencies. Blinded and paralysed, a parasite of sorts, fused into my soul with no hope of dissolution. One in which I have become accustomed to, as if we were one; forever fettered. Anxiety listlessly claws away, no longer noticed but lethal nonetheless. Funnily enough desires to numb […]

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burned

The erratic and down right rude behaviour of those around me has me pondering why it is that people feel a need – no some unseen, entitled privilege to continuously humiliate and enfeeble me. I am told time and time again that it is perfectly natural to defend ones self and yet when I attempt to do so I am […]

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