because we seek

I follow behind my mother and cousin meekly as we tour through my grandfathers home. An expedition that should bring about inner enlightenment and euphoria, yet arouses intensely forceful pangs of envy. My inner grapplings with resentfulness and guilt, a contrast as stark as the dilapidated pastel walls surrounding me. As I listen inconspicuously to tales unintended […]

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the king and all of his men

I’ve never truly believed that god or the Universe could be so cruel and heartless. There were times where certain life events left me pondering such topics, but nothing truly swayed me. Not until I met a distant a relative. A cousin who as a small child suffered either a seizure or possible stroke and […]

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prairie girl

Seemingly my desire to move abroad is as fervent as ever. In part due to the delicately soupçon scent of pine needles wafting through the air. A perspicuous landscape of earthy tones and surroundings. One embellished by historically opulent architecture, distinguished by the austere sight of turbines; a contrast of mans exploits. I’ve been seriously […]

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bohemian soul, cosmopolitan existence 

I am enervated with feelings of under appreciation, invisibility and irrelevancy. That my mere existence is one of sheer inconvenience; one akin to cancer or a depraved parasite. Of feeling like there’s nothing for me here. That there never really was and that I am not worthy of much more. I’m tired of looking for reasons to hold on but […]

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laced with edge

Internally I find myself in paradoxical foreign territory. My mind hustles tirelessly with unexplainable expectation while my heart is simultaneously enveloped in a hazy fog of nothingness. My mind incessantly forges with a blueprint for some kind of future; a most unconvincing tale it attempts to entice me with. Monopolising my time with materialistic impulse purchases. From shoes […]

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tough love

As I sat in my car awaiting my appointment, the shrieking wails from a toddler tore through the melancholic silence of a sullen underground parking lot. Such are the howls of boy being forced against his will; roaring and thunderous. I couldn’t help but find a connection between his reluctance in being strapped into his car seat with my […]

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